Committing to Marriage

About once a week I receive an email marketing tip from C. Richard Weylman. Some of them are really helpful and others immediately end up in the electronic trash bin.

Today's tip is about committing to your goals so you will see them become a reality.

Here are Weylman's tips on making and meeting commitments:

1. You must make a choice. When you choose your desired future outcome over your current reality, you remove the struggle that leads to compromising your commitment.

2. Choose your future outcome over instant gratification. Focus on your future outcome, working through the steps it will take to achieve it, and it will override your need for instant gratification.

3. It takes 100% commitment to be successful. Don't make excuses and exceptions - it will set you up for failure and make it harder to get back on track. Make your commitment and stick to it - no excuses, no exceptions!

4. Be sure you are completely dedicated to your commitment, not just casually interested. Your level of desire will determine your results - period. Ken Blanchard, author of The One Minute Manager, says, "There is a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when it's convenient. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results."

5. Visualize your future outcome instead of momentary temptation. When you are able to focus on the end result, you will make the right choices that support your desired outcome.

Now go back and read the tips again, only this time, instead of thinking about business goals, think about what it takes to make a marriage successful.

Pretty cool, huh?

With nearly half of all marriages in the U.S. ending in divorce and with many couples choosing not to marry at all, a little teaching on commitment might be in order.

May God give us the grace to keep our commitments.

Some Things are Better Caught than Taught

Some things are better caught than taught.

I learned a lot about giving from my dad – not because he sat me down and taught me how to give – but because I watched him do it.

My dad was a union steelworker on the south side of Chicago for 38 years. Every Friday was payday. Every Friday he cashed his check at the bank and brought home a wallet full of $20 bills. For you younger readers, this was before the days of direct deposit, credit cards, and ATM cards.

When he came home from work, I watched him sit at the dining room table with my mom. The first he did was count out a certain number of bills and put them in the church offering envelope. The offering envelope then went into his Bible to bring to church the following Sunday morning.

What did I learn by catching my dad doing this?

First, I learned that giving was a top priority. My dad put money in the offering envelope before he gave money to my mom for groceries; before he put aside money for the mortgage; before he spent money on anything else. God was first place in his life. His giving reflected that.

Second, I learned that giving was proportionate to his income. The more money he made in a given week because of overtime or side jobs, the more money went into the offering envelope. Dad gave a fixed percentage of his income every week.

Third, I learned that giving was to be done regularly. Because Dad was paid every Friday, I witnessed his giving every Friday. He didn’t give once a month or on special occasions. He gave whenever he was paid.

Fourth, I leaned that giving was sacrificial. Dad put money in that envelope no matter how good the week was. And there were some lean weeks. Many times I overheard discussions about what how certain purchases would just have to wait. There just wasn’t enough money at that time. But money still went in the offering envelope every week – still went in the Bible.

Finally, I learned that giving was a privilege and something to done cheerfully. I never heard Dad complain about how he could have more money if didn’t give. He never talked about giving in order to gain God’s favor. Giving for him was a privilege; something that made him glad. My dad was a cheerful giver.

Some things are better caught than taught.

I often wonder what my daughters are catching from me. I pray that when it comes to giving, they’re catching the same thing I caught from their grandpa.

Is "Hate Speech" any Speech with which I Disagree?

Ken Howell has been fired as an adjunct professor at the University of Illinois because one student was offended by his beliefs.

Howell, who taught Introduction to Catholicism and Modern Catholic Thought at the university, sent an e-mail to his students who were preparing for their final exam. In the e-mail, Howell wrote:

"Natural Moral Law says that Morality must be a response to REALITY. In other words, sexual acts are only appropriate for people who are complementary, not the same."

Uh-oh. There it is. Howell implied the Catholic Church viewed homosexuality as sin.

Evidently, an anonymous student in the class was offended by this. I say "evidently" because the offended student didn't come forward to complain. Instead, another student, claiming to be a friend of the offended student, sent an e-mail to the religion department head calling Howell's e-mail "hate speech."

Ah, yes. Hate speech. Any speech which I find disagreeable.

In his e-mail, "the friend" of the offended student wrote:

"Teaching a student about the tenets of a religion is one thing, declaring homosexual acts violate natural laws of man is another."

In his defense, Howell said he was teaching his students about the Catholic understanding of natural moral law. Howell said:

"My responsibility on teaching a class on Catholicism is to teach what the Catholic Church teaches. I have always made it very, very clear to my students they are never required to believe what I'm teaching and they'll never be judged on that."

Never be judged on that. Too bad the University of Illinois didn't cut Professor Howell the same slack.

In an e-mail to other school staff, Ann Mester, an associate dean at the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences wrote:

"The e-mails sent by Dr. Howell violate university standards of inclusivity, which would then entitle us to have him discontinue his teaching arrangement with us."

So the university has standards of inclusivity? Evidently firing a highly regarded professor for agreeing with the Catholic Church's teaching on homosexuality doesn't violate the school's standards of inclusivity.

I wonder if the University of Illinois would fire a biology professor, who not only taught students the theory of evolution, but also openly admitted he believed evolution to be true and creationism false. After all, that doesn't sound very "inclusive", does it. Would it make a difference if a student in the biology class wrote an email to the associate dean saying she was offended by the professor's opinion? Not a chance.

In it's effort to be "inclusive", the University of Illinois includes all opinions except those with which it happens to disagree. Those opinions they consider "hate speech."

I hope someone steps in to restore sanity at the University of Illinois. For now it seems the inmates are running the asylum.

Is America Becoming More Pro-Life?

In his most recent blog post, Albert Mohler paraphrased James Taranto of The Wall Street Journal with the following:

"It is a statement of fact, not a moral judgment, to observe that every pregnancy aborted today results in one fewer eligible voter 18 years from now. . . . It seems self-evident that pro-choice women are more likely to have abortions than pro-life ones, and common sense suggests that children tend to gravitate toward their parents’ values."

Think about that. It's been 37 years since Roe v. Wade. Is it possible the number of those in the pro-life camp is growing at a faster rate than those in the pro-choice camp because the pro-lifers tend to have more kids? Just wondering.

Be Still My Soul

Music is a gift from God. It engages both the heart and mind to focus us in way like none other.

David, the shepherd king, wrote music to express all kinds of emotions and thoughts. You can find David's songs in the Book of Psalms. In some, he offers praise to God. In others, he confesses his sin. Sometimes, he just delights in God's word.

Some songs have stayed with me my whole life. During my college days, there were what felt like desperate times to me. How would I make it through all that needed to be done? Who did God want me to be? What did He want me to do?

During those days, I came across a song by Russ Taff titled, "Be Still my Soul." I remember listening to that song over and over again from an old vinyl lp.

This morning, while reading Psalm 46 during devotions, I was reminded of this great song. I thought I'd share it with you. You'll have to get past the outmoded hairstyle and clothes. After all, it was 1983!

Loving Our Wives as Christ Loved the Church

A quote from St. John Chrysostom's "On Marriage and Family Life":

You have heard how important obedience is; you praise and marveled at Paul, how he welds our whole life together, as we would expect from an admirable and spiritual man. You have done well. But now listen to what else he requires from you; he has not finished with his example. “Husbands,” he says, “love your wives, as Christ loved the Church.” You have seen the amount of obedience necessary; now hear about the amount of love necessary. Do you want your wife to be obedient to you, as the Church is to Christ? Then be responsible for the same providential care of her, as Christ is for the Church. And even if it becomes necessary for you to give your life for her, yes, and even to endure and undergo suffering of any kind, do not refuse. Even though you undergo all of this, you will never have done anything equal to what Christ has done. You are sacrificing yourself for someone to whom you are already joined, but He offered Himself up for one who turned her back on Him and hated Him. In the same way, then, as He honored her by putting at His feet one who turned her back on Him, who hated, rejected, and disdained Him, as He accomplished this not with threats, or violence, or terror, or anything else like that, but through His untiring love; so also you should behave towards your wife. Even if you see her belittling you, or despising and mocking you, still you will be able to subject her to yourself, through affection, kindness, and your great regard for her. There is no influence more powerful than the bond of love, especially for husband and wife. A servant can be taught submission through fear; but even he, if provoked to much, will soon seek his escape. But one’s partner for life, the mother of one’s children, the source of one’s every joy, should never be fettered with fear and threats, but with love and patience. What kind of marriage can there be when the wife is afraid of her husband? What sort of satisfaction could a husband himself have, if he lives with his wife as if she were a slave and not with a woman by her own free will? Suffer anything for her sake, but never disgrace her, for Christ never did this with the Church.

I am humbled.

How Much is a Trillion?

The new budget unveiled by the White House yesterday calls for total spending of $3.8 trillion in the coming year. Of that amount, $1.6 trillion will need to be borrowed because revenues aren't expected to be enough to cover the spending.

We hear numbers like a trillion being thrown around a lot these days. We know it's a big number -- but do we really have any idea how big? Just how different is one trillion from one billion from one million? Let me see if I can help.

What were you doing one million seconds ago? One million seconds is about twelve days. That was Thursday, January 21st, 2010.

What were you doing one billion seconds ago? One billion seconds is about 32 years. That was 1978. I was a sophomore in high school. Jimmy Carter declared a federal emergency at Love Canal.

What were you doing one trillion seconds ago? One trillion seconds is about 32,000 years. That was somewhere around 30,000 years before Christ.

Needless to say, a $1.6 trillion dollar budget deficit next year is really big. It's about $34,000 of debt per U.S. citizen.

That's just how much our country will borrow in the coming year. We already owe about $12 trillion from prior years. The additional $1.6 trillion will be added to that.

Will we ever pay back what we borrowed? The Bible says the borrower is the servant of the lender. We are selling ourselves into slavery.

A trillion here, a trillion there -- pretty soon it will be real money.

The Parable of the Talents Redux

The current United States government can be illustrated by the story of a man going on a long trip. He called together his servants and entrusted his money to them while he was gone. He gave five bags of silver to one, two bags of silver to another, and one bag of silver to the last—dividing it in proportion to their abilities. He then left on his trip.

The servant who received the five bags of silver began to invest the money and earned five more. The servant with two bags of silver also went to work and earned two more. But the servant who received the one bag of silver dug a hole in the ground and hid the master’s money.

After a long time their master returned from his trip and called them to give an account of how they had used his money. The servant to whom he had entrusted the five bags of silver came forward with five more and said, “Master, you gave me five bags of silver to invest, and I have earned five more.”

The master was full of concern. “Surely you exploited the poor while increasing your wealth. You have been greedy in handling this money and only concerned about yourself. Because you now have more money than you need, I will take your money and give it to those you exploited. You really should do a better job of spreading the wealth around.”

The servant who had received the two bags of silver came forward and said, “Master, you gave me two bags of silver to invest, and I have earned two more.”

The master said, “Not bad, my middle class friend. I’m glad you have all you need. Because you don’t make more than $250,000 per year, I will try very hard to let you keep what you have earned. These are tough economic times, however, and I may need your help going forward. We all need to tighten our belt, you know.”

Then the servant with the one bag of silver came and said, “Master, I knew you were a harsh man, harvesting crops you didn’t plant and gathering crops you didn’t cultivate. I was afraid I would lose your money, so I hid it in the earth. Look, here is your money back.”

But the master replied, “You poor and unfortunate servant! Life has treated you so unfairly. Don’t worry; I’ll make sure you get everything you need as long as you vote for me in November.”

Then he ordered, “Take the money from the servant with ten bags of silver, and give to the one with the one bag of silver. To those who use well what they are given, we will take away their abundance. But for those who do nothing, we will make sure to give them enough to keep them depending on us. Now tell the greedy servant to stop complaining and get back to work. We have a country to fix.”

Tiger and Jesus, Part 3

More and more people are weighing in on Brit Hume's comments about Tiger Woods and his need for a relationship with Jesus Christ.

The following is a post from Cal Thomas on Thursday, January 7th.

The secular left — and some self-described Christians — criticize Brit Hume, the Fox News commentator, for suggesting that the solution to Tiger Woods' problems is a relationship with Jesus Christ. Hume made his remarks on "Fox News Sunday." Disclosure: I also appear on Fox News.

Hume said, "My message to Tiger would be: Tiger, turn to the Christian faith and you can make a total recovery and be a great example to the world."

That is a message shared for 2,000 years by those who follow Jesus of Nazareth. It apparently continues to escape the secular left that Christians feel compelled to share their faith out of gratitude for what Jesus has done for them (dying in their place on a cross and offering a new life to those who repent and receive Him as savior). In a day when some extremists employ violence to advance their religion, it is curious that many would save their criticism for a truly peace-bringing message such as the one broadcast by Brit Hume.

Criticism of Hume has taken two forms. One is that it is hubris to presume the Christian faith is superior to other faiths. The other criticism is that Hume used Fox as a pulpit and if he wants to preach he should resign from the network and go door to door like a Jehovah's Witness.

Tom Shales, a TV and culture critic for The Washington Post, wrote, "Darts of derision should be aimed at Hume, not at his employer or at Fox News as a social force." Shales said it's, "worth a Google or two to investigate the origins of Hume's seemingly newfound fervor."

Shales discovered that the "cause" of Hume's conversion was his son's suicide in 1998.

Many people can testify to an event that leads them to focus on the meaning of life. For me, it was being fired from a job in which I had placed my "faith" that success would bring peace and purpose.

People use the name of Jesus Christ every day. For many, it is employed as a curse. Few seek to silence those who blaspheme using His Name. Speak ill of the Prophet Muhammad and you risk a fatwa and crazies storming your house. Speak ill of Jesus Christ and no one will come to your door. He may be the last "religious" figure one can still crucify without penalty, at least in the short term.

Christians like Hume are not trying to impose anything on anyone. They know the difference Jesus has made in their lives and they care enough about others to want to share His message in the hope that other lives will be similarly transformed.

When he was president, Jimmy Carter shared his faith with South Korean President Park Chung Hee as the two rode in a limousine on the way to the airport. The New York Times ludicrously editorialized about a possible violation of church-state separation.

It was Jesus of Nazareth who accurately predicted the hostile reaction to people who spoke well of Him. He said, "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the One who sent me." (John 15:18-21)

You can read more of Cal Thomas' posts at http://www.jewishworldreview.com/cols/thomas1.asp

Not Judgemental, Just Relieved

It seems I'm not the only one who thinks Tiger Woods is in need of a Savior (see my December 14th post). Fox News' Brit Hume recently said essentially the same thing on the air. The reaction by others to Hume's comments has been predictable.

The following is a post from Ann Coulter's blog yesterday. While I don't claim to agree with Ms. Coulter on everything (especially her delivery), I think she does an admirable job presenting the Gospel in a clear way to our post-Christian culture.

Someone mentioned Christianity on television recently and liberals reacted with their usual howls of rage and blinking incomprehension.

On a Fox News panel discussing Tiger Woods, Brit Hume said, perfectly accurately:

"The extent to which he can recover, it seems to me, depends on his faith. He is said to be a Buddhist. I don't think that faith offers the kind of forgiveness and redemption that is offered by the Christian
faith. So, my message to Tiger would be, 'Tiger, turn to the Christian faith and you can make a total recovery and be a great example to the
world."

Hume's words, being 100 percent factually correct, sent liberals into a
tizzy of sputtering rage, once again illustrating liberals' copious ignorance of Christianity. (Also illustrating the words of the Bible:
"How is it you do not understand me when I speak? It is because you cannot bear to listen to my words." John 8:43.)

In The Washington Post, Tom Shales demanded that Hume apologize, saying he had "dissed about half a billion Buddhists on the planet."

Is Buddhism about forgiveness? Because, if so, Buddhists had better start demanding corrections from every book, magazine article and blog posting ever written on the subject, which claims Buddhists don't believe in God, but try to become their own gods.

I can't imagine that anyone thinks Tiger's problem was that he didn't
sufficiently think of himself as a god, especially after that final putt in
the Arnold Palmer Invitational last year.

In light of Shales' warning Hume about "what people are saying" about him, I hope Hume's a Christian, but that's not apparent from his inarguable description of Christianity.

Of course, given the reaction to his remarks, apparently one has to be a regular New Testament scholar to have so much as a passing familiarity with the basic concept of Christianity. On MSNBC, David
Shuster invoked the "separation of church and television" (a phrase that also doesn't appear in the Constitution), bitterly complaining that Hume had brought up Christianity "out-of-the-blue" on "a political talk show."

Why on earth would Hume mention religion while discussing a public figure who had fallen from grace and was in need of redemption and forgiveness? Boy, talk about coming out of left field!

What religion -- what topic -- induces this sort of babbling idiocy? (If
liberals really want to keep people from hearing about God, they should give Him his own show on MSNBC.)

Most perplexing was columnist Dan Savage's indignant accusation that Hume was claiming that Christianity "offers the best deal -- it
gives you the get-out-of-adultery-free card that other religions just
can't."

In fact, that's exactly what Christianity does. It's the best deal in the
universe. (I know it seems strange that a self-described atheist and "radical sex advice columnist faggot" like Savage would miss the
central point of Christianity, but there it is.)

God sent his only son to get the crap beaten out of him, die for our sins and rise from the dead. If you believe that, you're in. Your sins are washed away from you -- sins even worse than adultery! -- because of the cross.

"He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by
nailing it to the cross." Colossians 2:14.

Surely you remember the cross, liberals -- the symbol banned by ACLU lawsuits from public property throughout the land?

Christianity is simultaneously the easiest religion in the world and the
hardest religion in the world.

In the no-frills, economy-class version, you don't need a church, a
teacher, candles, incense, special food or clothing; you don't need to pass a test or prove yourself in any way. All you'll need is a Bible (in order to grasp the amazing deal you're getting) and probably a water baptism, though even that's disputed.

You can be washing the dishes or walking your dog or just
sitting there minding your business hating Susan Sarandon and accept that God sent his only son to die for your sins and rise from the dead ... and you're in!

"Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and
believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." Romans 10:9.

If you do that, every rotten, sinful thing you've ever done is gone from
you. You're every bit as much a Christian as the pope or Billy Graham.

No fine print, no "your mileage may vary," no blackout dates. God ought to do a TV spot: "I'm God Almighty, and if you can find a better deal than the one I'm offering, take it."

The Gospel makes this point approximately 1,000 times. Here are a few examples at random:

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son,
that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16.

"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God." Ephesians 2:8.

"For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in
Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 6:23.

In a boiling rage, liberals constantly accuse Christians of being
"judgmental." No, we're relieved.

Christianity is also the hardest religion in the world because, if you
believe Christ died for your sins and rose from the dead, you have no choice but to give your life entirely over to Him. No more sexual
promiscuity, no lying, no cheating, no stealing, no killing inconvenient old people or unborn babies -- no doing what all the other kids do.

And no more caring what the world thinks of you -- because, as Jesus warned in a prophecy constantly fulfilled by liberals: The world will hate you.

With Christianity, your sins are forgiven, the slate is wiped
clean and your eternal life is guaranteed through nothing you did yourself, even though you don't deserve it. It's the best deal in the universe.

You can read more of Ann Coulter's posts at http://www.anncoulter.com/.